Hello (It Isn't Me You're Looking For)

by Modern Sonder

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First single from Modern Sonder's debut EP "Crisis, Grace & Growth", releasing in Spring 2020.

Cover art by Jennifer Mae Spooner (www.jennifermaespooner.com)

lyrics

‘Hello (It Isn’t Me You’re Looking For)’.

Felt so alive when I was 17 then overnight was 23 and falling, with this apathetic attitude and over-eager aptitude for stalling. All so suddenly I realised I’d built myself a life less-than-enthralling. And somewhere way off in the distance I was sure I heard somebody calling.

“Don’t be afraid, it’s not too late”.

It’s so damn hard to break routines when your survival was the reason that you’d made them. See, the years have not been kind to me so honestly I think I’m almost broken. I cut my wrist by accident when washing out the bottles from the weekend, then I just watched in wonder as my body knew just how to make the skin mend.

“The pain is real, but you can heal”.

See when you’re told that you’re special, you can laugh through the lies. Then when you come to see you’re not, it’s like all of your energy just dies, and I appreciate you asking but I’m not chasing any more. Thanks for checking in but it’s not me you’re looking for.

When I cannot make my mind up all I want to do is find a hole to sink through, or I just sit with my self-pity then indulge in things I’d rather not admit to. Even admitting that I’m non-committal seems a little too much to commit to. Do you ever feel there’s something big around the corner waiting to come hit you? ‘Cos I do.

I always do.

I never dreamed I’d be a martyr, but I offered myself up, and God knows what I was thinking, but the self-nomination’s stuck. So now I’m watching with my eyes closed, and bracing for the crash, I’ll share everything I have with you though no-one ever asked.

And as the close of day washed away a little of the shame this life was bringing, I started to remind myself it seemed like everyone but me was winning. Then through the silence in my mind I heard the echoes of the songs I should be singing, and as I stopped to catch my breath I almost felt the speed the earth was spinning.

credits

released March 28, 2020
Recorded and produced by Michael Macdonald.

Vocals/Keys: Jazz Dey.
Guitars: Michael Macdonald.
Drums: Gavin Allan

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Modern Sonder Glasgow, UK

Emo-Alt Rock from Scotland.

modernsonder.com

'The Vessel in Which It Arrives' mini EP coming Spring 2022.

Plantable copies of debut EP 'Crisis, Grace & Growth' on sale now! ... more

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